In two minds

EricsqmultiI’ve been talking with my sister and found out that thinking is one of the big differences between us. We live at opposite ends of the country and rarely spend time together.

Whilst we both take our dogs for walks on the beach and would both say we did meditate the effect we seek is almost opposite.

I never have an empty head. I always have at least four thoughts queued up demanding that “I think them next.”
At the moment, I go to bed with my wife, but go to sleep think about another woman and start again the instant I wake up.

Amara’s predicaments take over a huge part of my downtime thinking. She’s suffering a crisis of confidence, doesn’t want to face life and has to go into battle with a troll-like opponent. Should she let him kill her? I examine the feelings and emotions of my main character, her companions and even her enemy.

So, where my sister walks the beach and tries to empty her thoughts, I walk the beach with scenes playing on my inner wide screen.

Meditation is a reluctant part of my life. Its something I feel better having done it, but I have a constant battle with my inner voices. I confess I ended up terrified when I tried a guided meditation to send me deep into the tranquil mind. Its too quiet! I feel as if somebody has killed off my friends.

Maybe one day I’ll enjoy a peaceful mind, but it hasn’t happened yet!

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